thankful

Happy Thanksgiving! We had so many people come to our house it was bursting with love, and family.  C had a complete meltdown right as we sat down for dinner (of course) so she had to have a few time outs but it let us all actually eat which was nice.  I am so thankful for everyone in my life, my hubs, my (mostly) sweet daughter, and how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life supporting me.  Crazy med school came for dinner, and after a few glasses of wine, too much cheesecake and mashed potatoes we went out for a drink (which turned into a few...since it was happy hour there) and then we ended up dancing at an almost empty Ricks (which is the dirtiest college bar ever but somehow we just love it).  It was probably one of my most favorite Thanksgivings to date.  

Today I took a test and was so not happy with how it turned out, BUT I can retake it next week so hopefully I get the results I am looking for then! I am about to watch Elf and eat left over cheesecake, have a great weekend everyone!

just a phase.

This week has started a week of the terrible (not yet even) twos.  C has been downright bratty.  While usually so so sweet, this week she has thrown more tantrums, more jelly legs, more throwing herself dramatically on the floor, more "NO"'s and more down right defiance towards me and the hubs then in her whole short not even two year old life.  And yes I am aware it is only Tuesday.  I am so exhausted.  You know your toddler knows she is bad when she constantly on repeat says "Annoying Char char, change attitude" I pretty much say "change your attitude" at LEAST 100 times a day...I am not sure where she got the annoying part from.

Plus today I was informed that I am not doing so great in one of my classes.  Completely understandable since I have been SO not motivated this semester, you get what you put in and I have definitely NOT put in a lot of effort to this class.  The hubs is so great he just seriously is so calm when I have mini freak outs.  I told crazy med school what was going on and she said "go get yourself a mocha frap, and some nachos" she literally knows the way to my happiness.  Not even twenty minutes later the hubs called and said "come get me, we are going to get nachos" I am shocked I am not 300 lbs by now.  I love that they both instantly knew how to cheer me up.  

Usually we put C in a time out in this big comfy chair in her play room for one minute.  If she is bad. (I know, we are the WORST) Today (by not yet even 9 am) she had already 3 time outs, the hubs said "it is time to put her on a stool facing the wall" he means business.  I have learned that when I tell her to do something to just ignore her and she will usually 98% of the time do it...its like if it isn't her idea she won't do it.  I know she is just practicing her independence...but honestly? She is just giving me more wrinkles.  

Charlotte really does give the best hugs and kisses if we even so much as say "ouch" she gets really concerned and immediately drops everything she is doing and kisses us.  She is so caring towards "babies" of age 3 and under she always say "Hey baby!" and waves and blows kisses.  She always wants to do what I do, wear a scarf, wear a hair tie, wear a headband, put on make up, it is so sweet.  We are all hoping (for my sanity) that this phase only lasts a little while.

Because really when she smile and says "love you mama" it melts my heart and presses my reset button...

and she knows it.

the lights before Christmas

This morning, the hubs and  C let me sleep in, it was AMAZING (I also should mention I went to bed at 10:30...on a Saturday night...#livingthevidaloca) they woke me up with a mint mocha and french toast.  How lucky am I?! Then we stayed in our pajamas for a REALLY long time, and then finally showered and went to the lights before Christmas with my brother and SIL, and now I feel SUPER in the holiday spirit fa la la la laaaa! We are getting our tree next weekend!! This week I only have ONE class, and my BFF crazy med school is coming for Thanksgiving, along with a ton of my family, and then my BFF from Cbus is coming for the weekend, and its a fun football game, and an ugly Christmas sweater bday party for my bestie M, I just can't even handle all the fun and celebrating!!

scrooge

OMG IT IS SO CLOSE TO THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! Fa la la la laaaaa! Every day when the hubs leaves for work me and Char baby jam out to Christmas music...it is my FAVORITE time of day.  We do it when he leaves because the hubs DOESN'T let us do anything remotely Christmas until after Thanksgiving.  Which I mean I understand but come on plz be a little less of a scrooge.  Char sings Jingle Bells all day long its so cute.  I HATE leaving for school in the evenings, she knows I leave usually after her nap and I feel awful because she cries so hard :( 
On Sunday it was crazy weather so we made that tent and ate cookies and hung out mostly all day in it SO FUN. Also we bought pipe cleaners and made jewelry, glasses, and put them through our colander and by we I mean mostly Charlotte.  It made for hours of fun! I love that picture of the hubs and C its so cute.
 

"F it"

Wow what a whirlwind weekend, on Friday I was supposed to work, but didn't end up working for very long it was super slow, so off I went to spend time with my family.  We went and had an ice cream date and it was perfect.  After we put C down for bed we got to go on a date night and had a few drinks, then met up with some friends for half off apps.  It was a great night, thank god the hubs pried me out of my bed (and jammies) at 8 pm otherwise I definitely would have gone to bed early.

Saturday night the hubs and I got to go out again for a few drinks, it was SO great to spend so much time alone with him two nights in a row! 

 Today we got to have lunch with one of our favorite families, made cookies, and built an awesome tent.  It was perfect.  It is crazy storming here so we couldn't really go outside, we ate cookies and read books in our tent most of the afternoon.  I should have been doing work, but it was just one of those lazy catch up days.  Charlotte is so funny and loves making videos or "bedeoooos" as she calls them, so she will wave and blow herself kisses on the phone it is pretty entertaining.  She recently started saying "F it" when she is trying to say "fix it" and it cracks me up.  

One good pic

 So lately me and the hubs have been matching not on purpose (with our clothes) a lot more, I don't know if I like it but my parents literally wear the same thing every day, and not on purpose, so one of them usually has to change.  I think its like the longer you are in a relationship the more you start to look alike...kind of like dogs looking like their owners? I don't know.  At church the other day someone asked if the hubs was my brother...how do you even reply to that?! I was so awkward and said "um no ummm we are married..." to which they replied "oh my gosh you look SO much alike I totally thought you were related!" Ok seriously just stop.  I know we look alike, but NOT like siblings!!!

These pictures are from the other night, the hubs was trying to do work but I was bothering him and making him take pictures, which is the usual occurrence in our relationship.  I think they turned out super cute but he was getting mad because I think I made him take like 15 pictures.  He said "GOD A stop with all the pictures!!!" and "I hate this" and "I am going to make awful faces" see how hard he is to work with? All I wanted was ONE good pic. 

Ha. I got 3.

Dear C

Dear Charlotte,

You are the best part about me, you define what I do for a living, and getting to be your mom is such a blessing.  Every morning you come in and wake me up with a huge bear hug, and a kiss, you don't care about my morning breath, what I look like, or if my hair is a mess, all you see is your mom.  I just love how you brighten up every room you go into, you are such a happy girl.  When you say "love you mama TOO" it makes me so happy I tear up sometimes.  Car rides with you are such an adventure you point out everything you see, and you always tell me the trees are cold and need a blanket.  Not really sure where you got that idea from, but I love how compassionate you are, you ask everyone (even complete strangers) if they are okay if they so much as cough.  When you are scared of someone you put your hands over your face and get really quiet, like you are pretending you are invisible.  Your laugh is contagious, it makes me crack up right along with you.  You constantly repeat everything I say, and follow me around saying "Mamamamama, mommy mommy mommmm" it drives me nuts, but I would miss it if you stopped.  You adore babies, whenever we see a baby you are quick to point it out and always want to give kisses.  

I love you to the moon and back baby girl, thank you for making me a mom.

xoxo,

Mommy

word vomit

- Tonight I got sushi with one of my best friends, K.  It was so yummy I can't even handle it.  I don't think I have had sushi in forever so I ate a ton.  Anyway the real drama happened after...I offered to give K a ride to her car since hers was parked super far away, so we got in and my car wouldn't start...I tried like six times.  So we walked to K's car and thank GOD she had jumper cables because otherwise it would have been even more of a hassle.  We drive back to my car, she blocks traffic the other way and we use the flashlights on our iphones and this nice guy offers to help us.  Long story short we did it! I was so proud of us.  Thank god for good friends. 

-I got new boots from Target! The ones in the top picture, and I literally have been wearing them every day since I got them, so comfy I love Target.  

-C loves keyboards, she carries it around everywhere and freaks out if she doesn't have it.  She says she is "working for pop pop" if you ask her what she is doing, I don't ask questions.  

-Sorry for the poor quality iphone pics, I need to get my big camera out more.

 -It SNOWED last night, only a dusting but for real it made me get so excited for winter, and we figured out what we are doing for our Christmas card this year (and it requires snow) so hopefully we get some good snow before Christmas so I can get the cards out on time!

-I have been so forgetful lately, if I don't write something down in my planner it won't get done, I hate that feeling.

-Lately C has been a huge mama's girl, super clingy and copying everything I do.  She is so sweet to me, I am not sure if this is just a phase or what but I kind of (ok REALLY) love that she is so obsessed with me, she is just the sweetest.

-I really want to go to an Imagine Dragons concert

-My mom and I went shopping for Christmas for C today, and holy mother that little girl is the LUCKIEST ever.  We are sure going to miss Nana's spoiling when/if we move!

-After I got home from jumping my car, the hubs came outside and tried to figure out what was wrong with the car (he still hadn't eaten dinner) he is just the best ever in life.

-I had a dream C had lice...on her arms. (?) 

-We think C sleep walks, she keeps waking up looking at the door standing up, either that or she falls asleep like that...

the fam, the bestfriend, and my comfy bed

 I LOVE when crazy med school comes to visit. Seriously. She is so great.  We had so much fun as usual...I miss when she was my neighbor (legit were neighbors for a good 4 years) but she knows exactly what I am thinking, and literally we can have a convo with crazy sounds to get away from creeps that are out downtown.  I just love her.  

This weekend was good, we didn't do much but it was just nice to have some time with the fam, the bestfriend, and my comfy bed.  Plus C slept in today until like 8:45 which was so nice because I definitely needed sleep.  Also I had chocolate cake twice which made me super happy, but I have not worked out in a good week and a half and I need to get back on that train but its been so cold I just am not motivated to run outside right now.  No excuse I know but that is what keeps me from feeling awful about myself haha.  I think the hubs and I are going to go bowling again tonight if I can peel myself out of my bed....this weather just makes me want to curl up with a good book!

5 things

C

 1.) I miss when my hair was as long as it was on my birthday last year, I am working on it but it literally takes forever to grow, and whenever I do grow it out I decide I just want to chop it off...it is seriously the most annoying process.  Maybe now that I wrote this down it will remind me never to chop it off again.

2.) My bff crazy med school is coming today! I am so excited. 

3.) C is so cute.  I love finding clothes for her.  I love hand me downs too they are the best! She usually picks out her own outfits these days, and almost ALWAYS wants to wear a tutu.  Yesterday she counted to 3 for the first time!

4.) I swear nap time and bed time are the mommy reset button for me.  I always get so tired and annoyed but then when she sleeps I think she is the cutest thing ever in life, and miss her and can't wait til she gets up so we can play!

5.) I think we are going to FL end of Jan and I can't wait.  That is literally the perfect time to get out of grey MI.  

Heavy on my heart

Something has been weighing heavily on my heart for awhile now, and I debated whether or not to share it on this space.  I decided to go ahead and share it because this girl deserves for her story to be told. 

 One of my best friends has been going through something for the past two years that nobody should ever have to go through.  After her daughter was born, she called the doctor about two days after she got home and complained she felt pain.  The doctors ignored her complaints until she insisted on coming back in.  She had an emergency DNC about 2 weeks after she was born because part of the placenta was still in her uterus.  This surgery was her first ever surgery and was supposed to only take 15 minutes...she came out 3 hours later to be told that she may not be able to have kids ever again and if she did she would be high risk.  All this she found out with a two week old baby at home.  While in the hospital she was not able to breast feed and developed mastitis, and when the doctor drained it he didn't use the right anesthesia so she was able to feel everything.  After that she healed in the normal 6 weeks, and thought everything was going to be fine.  

Six months later she wasn't getting a period but got pain so bad she would have to vomit.  It was her body trying to have a normal cycle but the blood was being reabsorbed into her body which was extremely painful.  She went to get a second opinion and found out she had a severe case of Ashermans.  After that she went to a fertility specialist but their microscopic instruments couldn't make it through her scarred cervix because of her surgery.  She found out about 8 months after her surgery that the doctor who had performed her surgery had scraped out her uterus so badly that it had healed shut.  After that she was diagnosed with PTSD and disassociation disorder. 

After a little while she began to randomly bleed, she was given several medications to make it stop and nothing worked.  She was given two options, she could keep trying meds until one worked and stay on it until she went through menopause, or remove her uterus.   

About eight weeks ago she had another surgery to remove her uterus.  She was supposed to stop bleeding and be completely healed but she still felt pain, was still bleeding, and couldn't shake that something was seriously wrong.  So back to the hospital she went, got a cat scan and was told to go home because nothing was wrong.  This was at 3:30 a.m., at 9 a.m. she got a call telling her she was pregnant.

One of 36 cases EVER to be pregnant without a uterus.  On top of that news she also found out she had a hematoma and her other Fallopian tube was infected.  She went back in because of severe bowel pain as well, which was caused by the large hematoma.

Currently she has been given medicine to try and pass the baby on her own, if not she finds out on Sunday if she has to get the baby surgically removed.  If the baby does pass on its own with the meds then she has to have an ultrasound Wednesday to find out if she needs the hematoma surgically removed.

This girl has been through hell and back the past two years.  I literally don't know how she even handles all of this.  Through it all she has been the best mom, wife, friend, etc.   She has such a positive attitude about what she is going through.  She is the definition of strong, and could use all the prayers she can get.  

Thank you S for letting me share your story, I love you.

thankful

 I am so thankful for my family.  I never ever thought in high school that my happily ever after would be these two.  Or that I would be married so young, or have a baby so young, or really any of this.  I always thought I would be a business woman like my dad and not settle down until at LEAST 30, kids were never even on my horizon.  I always loved kids don't get me wrong, but never did I ever think I would have this.  I never thought I would be on track to become a teacher...my mom said I always said I wanted to be one when I was younger...guess I should have listened more carefully to my past self.

Excuse me while I go down memory lane tonight, I was backing up all my pictures (all 14,000) in case this computer decides to flash the black screen of death at me, and I came across these gems. I love looking at past pictures it just is so cool to see how far we have come in the almost 9 years we have been together!