Sunflower Sunday

 Is there anything prettier then sunflowers? I just love them, and we finally found a field of them which has been my dream for like 3 years!

Life Lately

 We have been crazy busy lately, well not really but I was starting to feel really busy with two kids, and Russ working a lot.  But now we have sort of a rhythm going and it has been going a lot better.  I am still lucky if I can get out of the house before 11 am but its getting easier.  My mom has been BEYOND helpful, she will take C in the mornings sometimes when I have had a rough night of being up a lot feeding Elle.  We have had a rough start with nursing, she would latch but only sometimes, other times she would just cry and cry and so then I would get frustrated and just make her a bottle (pumped breast milk and sometimes supplemental formula) but I am happy to say the past week we have done 90% of her feedings by nursing.  I am so proud of myself because with C we never had that experience, and I promised myself I would give it a month with E and if it was just too hard on me I would just pump or think about other options.  It will be a month on Saturday (it went so fast holy crap) and I think we made it, nobody tells you how freaking hard breastfeeding is going to be or that your baby might not latch after you are engorged, or if she does then she might be the slowest eater ever in life and it takes an hour each feeding, or you might have problems with your supply.   Needless to say I am proud of us and myself because I did not think I would make it.  I have cried, and almost given up SO many times but I think I can honestly say that I want to keep going and that I actually enjoy it now! 

Charlotte is adjusting SO well to being a big sister, she absolutely LOVES Elle and whenever she is awake she will come up to her and say "Hiiii babyyy I just LOVE youuu" its so sweet and then she will tell me that Elle's eyes are open and she is SO happy.  I seriously lucked out, Char is awesome at being a big sister, and she hasn't been throwing as many tantrums and is being super flexible.

Weekend

 My weekend consisted of snuggles, nursing, and trying to find a sunflower field. We never did find a sunflower field but it was a pretty great weekend anyhow, I am seriously going to miss Russ when he goes back to work tomorrow! I plan on venturing out with both girls tomorrow (with my mom too probably) and going on a long walk.  I cannot wait until I can go running again, I lost all my baby weight except for 7 lbs so 2.5 weeks post partum I would consider that a win! I need to definitely walk a ton more, and that will get me ready for running in 4 weeks!

Russ took these pictures today during nap time, and I know I will keep them forever.  I usually just wear my hair in a top knot these days, and do minimal make up, so I love that this just captures how we are right now in life.  I love baby snuggles, and this little bean gives the BEST, she sleeps the best right next to me and Russ, in the middle of the night after she nurses I usually just keep her in bed with us and that is when she sleeps the longest. 

Elle baby

 Every night I think is the night I am going to get 3 or more hours of sleep...but 11 pm rolls around and baby E just wants to party.  She is up until 2 or 3 usually nursing on and off, I know I will miss this time together some day...but not right now.  I am running low on patience! Then C will wake up usually around 6 am these days and want to come in our bed to snuggle...I am one tired mama right now.  Elizabeth is so alert compared to how Char was as a baby it is really cool to see her eyes open a lot more, I just wish she could be less awake from about midnight on haha.  We gave her first official bath last night, she looooved it! We have another water baby! 

This morning I showered, did my hair, make up, and got dressed in real clothes, it seriously did wonders for my mood, while I was getting ready Charlotte decided to read to Elle and it was THE cutest thing ever.  I feel so lucky to be these girls mama, they are the sweetest, and I know once we get into more of a routine it will get easier.  Elizabeth has quite a few nick names now, Char calls her "my baby" and we call her baby E, Ellie bean, Bean, Elle Belle, and just Elizabeth.  So even though we are tired, we are hanging in there!!

family of 4

 We took some family pictures yesterday just for fun because I realized we hadn't gotten a picture of the four of us yet!! Crazy. I really wanted to at the hospital but I was so out of it I couldn't remember to get that shot! I am so happy with how these turned out, and I just want to take more and more.  It still doesn't seem real to me that we are a family of four now.  These past two weeks have flown by and I cannot believe little Ellie bean is 2 weeks old already.  They have all kind of blurred together (the days and nights) she isn't on any sort of schedule yet, and its hard for us to go anywhere before 11 am...I don't know how people do it with more kids! E loves to cluster feed until 2-3 in the morning so that has been interesting because of course Char gets up at 7 am so we are surviving but barely.  We had her 2 week appointment today and she weighed in at a whopping 7 pounds 4 ounces...she is so teeny! Charlotte when she was BORN weighed 7 lbs 5 ounces...its crazy to me how small this girl is compared to her sister.  C was already in 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers at 2 weeks old, and baby E is still in newborn diapers and clothes.  She is such a sweetheart though and when she is awake she just looks around, but if she is hungry? She lets out a super loud scream and lets you know she needs food ASAP otherwise her world is ending.  She sleeps in her crib every night, but hates being cold so sometimes after I nurse her I just let her sleep in bed with us for the hour she sleeps and then wants more food again.  She still has so much hair, it is lightening up a lot though so I think she will be blonde eventually.  My cousin has been in town this week helping out with C and I am reallllly going to miss her when she goes home.  She has been SO helpful and let us just soak in newborn baby time. 

In my brain

- I cannot believe Elizabeth is here most days...she is a great sleeper except once 11 pm rolls around she just cluster feeds until 2 am and then will sleep 4 hours.  For the most part I really don't mind but some nights I am just so tired I wish I could just sleep while she eats...

-She is such a sweetheart and loves cuddling, I hope she always loves to cuddle!

-When she nurses she will hold on to the collar of my shirt, and it just melts me.

-C got a haircut the other day and now she looks so old to me!

-Yesterday after a marathon eating session all night long, Russ let me sleep in and brought me breakfast in bed.  He is a keeper. 

-I have been SO emotional lately, and I know it has everything to do with post partum but I wish the random tears would stop and I could get back to normal.

-I thought I would take way more pictures with my big camera of E but every time I get a free moment and she is sleeping I don't want to disturb her.  Thank goodness for cell phone pictures I guess! I took a few for her announcements but really wanted to do more, I guess I still can she is only 12 days old.

-Charlotte is doing so amazing with this big change, she gets a little whiny and throws maybe a few more tantrums when E is attached to me eating but I try and put the baby down and play with her one on one, I think later this week I will take her on a date just me and her.  I miss her!

Life with two

 Life with two kids? Harder then I ever imagined.  And its only been a week.  Needless to say we are tired.  So tired.  I just literally feel hung over every single day, E sleeps for 3-4 hour stretches usually so at least that is good.  The second night we were home she was up until 3:30 am though cluster feeding and being kind of fussy.  We are doing better now, but she still sometimes doesn't latch right away and gets frustrated which in turn makes me frustrated and then I just break down and cry.  Hormones are just crazy right now, and I cry over the dumbest stuff.  Last night when E was getting her diaper changed and she was crying? I just started bawling myself...cannot wait until these hormones straighten out!

Charlotte loves her little sister, the two things she says all the time are: "She is so tiny mommy!" and "This is my little sister" its so sweet.  She is having a kind of hard time adjusting though and is throwing lots of tantrums, not listening, and being naughty in general.  I think its terrible twos combined with not being the center of attention anymore.  

Yesterday Russ went back to work and so i was alone with the two girls, it went better then I expected it to, but man is it exhausting! I think it will get better once E gets on a schedule...at least I hope!